A Hitchin'

It has been a long two weeks since the last post. Things have been hectic around the office to say the least. There has been good news, mixed news, and no news. Agent S is now engaged (Good News). Agent M has been hired on with the Federal Government (Mixed News, good for her, not so good for the rest of us). Not really sure what is going on with Agent L. Last I heard she was in the midst of consultations for reconstructive surgeries. All three still need prayer.

To be honest there is way to much going on to talk about it all. So, therefore, I will speak about what happened today.

Today, my step-sister got married. I have only known her for eight years and I am very happy for her. She married a man that I believe to be at least decent and hard working (I have only met him a handful of times).

The Venue was the "Acanthus". This American Colonial Style home was built by the owner himself and was even more impressive in person. And yes that is an actual working 1930 Model A. Which according to everyone at the Wedding, "Runs like a sowing machine". I am not sure what that is supposed to mean.

After a couple hour drive to get to the venue, I realized that my Mother is horrible at giving directions (hand written and verbal). I spent an extra 30 minutes driving in circles because she would switch from road names (Blah Blah Street) to road numbers (SC 297) when only the opposite was shown on the road signs. I wont go into the landmarks that she used.

Upon arrival I was greeted by my Step-family and the family of the Groom. Lots of hand shaking, back slapping, and polite smiles all around. My mother told me to have a seat in the Pavilion and wait. It was interesting that I was more interested in the surroundings than greeting the other guests. Especially watching the migrating Canadian Geese taking a much needed rest in Lake Lyman.

The Ceremony was nice, short, and to the point. At one point I did not believe my Step-father would let his little girl go. When the Pastor asked, "Who gives the woman in marriage?" He promptly answered, however, when it came time to actually conduct the handing, he hesitated. It was several long moments before he actually made himself hand her over.

After the Ceremony came the mandatory cover dish buffet and reception. After the initial shock of meeting so many people began to dissipate, I began to have a good time. A good time sitting, watching people dance and the DJ make fun of them do so.

My Step-family, specifically my Step-brothers and sister, are very....energetic and animated. I am not. In the past there have been issues with their belief that I am not having a good time because I am not acting as they are. To be clear, I was having a good time watching the Geese take off, land, and move about the lake. Any positive stimuli above and beyond this equals more fun.

Also, according to Southern Baptist tradition it is a "Sin" to dance, beyond this, I have the rhythm of an Armadillo. So, therefore, I do not Dance.

So, during the group dance portion of the reception, my Step-sister (Bride) sees me sitting at the table and came over to invite me to the floor. She begged, pleaded, and concluded with the patented "Puppy-dog face." I disappointed her. My Mother (who knows the above) then comes over and tells me to dance. I tell her no. She then moves on to the patented "The Look". Predictably I move to the dance floor.

Another interesting thing that I learned today, Ankle Holsters are not made with Dancing in mind. That is correct. I took the Glock 27 to a Wedding. I thought about taking my Duty Glock 22, but discounted it due to the fact that the Coat would have to come off eventually.

After a few songs I moved back to my table. Before I could really get comfortable in my chair, I saw my mother coming towards me again. This time with a woman (about my age) in tow. "The Look" already gleaming in her eyes. My mother introduced us and literally pushed us toward the dance floor.

While attempting to dance, I apologized to the woman for the actions of my mother (whom in her zealous to get me hooked up with a woman, failed to notice that this particular woman came with her boyfriend). After the song we went our separate ways, and instead of going back to the table this time, I stand on the side lines of the Dance floor (remaining mobile to avoid any further "Hook ups").

After the reception was the traditional Bouquet and Garter toss. Then a quick bow out before any more uncomfortable situations arose.

I hope and pray that my Step-Sister and new Step-Brother-in-Law have many, many happy years ahead of them.

For a side note, I did not catch the Garter.

Simper Fi Deus
Goose