Our Mrs Goose

No, it is not what you think. For the past several weeks things have been interesting at work. So, much so that I do not want to touch a computer, much less sit and type out anything. Some of which was my own creation. Some, the creation of law makers in Columbia, SC.

As of late those of us at work have been watching the news very attentively. Mostly to see how the South Carolina Legislature will fix the current financial bind that South Carolina is in. So far, their big brainstorm is to lay off 100 agents, add 5 more furlough days for a total of 10, and increase the workload of the agents left, by releasing 3,000 inmates from the South Carolina Department of Corrections.

By my math (which is weak) that leaves me looking for work come the next fiscal year.

However, there is a bright side to all of this. So far this is only a proposal brought by the SC House. The Senate still has to make their own and they will have to come to terms. Yeah, I will not be holding my breath for a bunch of Politicians to decide my fate. Applications are already on their way out.

This is done with great sadness. I have invested a lot of time and energy in my job. Yes, to the exclusion of all else. Mayhap, that is why it is being taken away. For mine is a jealous God, and he does not take kindly to second place.

Be that as it may, I love my job and pray that I can stay. I do view the fact that I am putting out applications as a betrayal. Not to my bosses, they could care less if I stay or go, and certainly not to the pack of wolves that I over see, but to my co-workers.

If you have read any of this blog, then you should already know some of my feelings in this matter. My co-workers are more than just co-workers, they are my family. Some parts are dysfunctional, and some of them I do not like, but family none the less.

Okay, with that part out of the way, we come to the point. I am a fan of the Science Fiction Television Series Firefly. If you have not seen this show you need to. But, I am sure that any fan will recognize the title and have a glimpse as to what may follow. What does follow are two incidents that I found funny enough to share.

First, over the past several weeks I have been overloaded when it comes to my full report days. Having 60 + Offenders come in at the same time tends to cause issues. So, much so that my supervisor had to call me to her office and tell me the policy for reporting. Then she told me, for the next couple of weeks my entire team would be helping me straighten out my mess. No, that is not at all embarrassing.

So, with Agent S, still on the mends (and expecting), myself and Work Mom had to help her on her full report days. With the mandate that my Supervisor handed down, they had to help me on my full report days. And for pay back, Work Mom had me helping her on her full report days. All of which occurred on the same two weeks of the month. These quickly became known as "Hell Week".

With that in mind, Work Mom has taken a considerable amount of my reports in the past couple of weeks. Which did not go unnoticed by my Offenders, some of which are new to probation.
On one of the days that was not my report day, at this point I cannot remember whose report day it was. I was out taking reports with my team. Work Mom went to the door and called a name off of the list. Then, I heard something odd, "Mrs. Goose! Mrs. Goose!"

At the time I was taking a report, but hearing my name with an honorific that I had not heard since my mother got remarried, was enough to bring me to a halt. It apparently took Work Mom a second or two for her to figure out that the Offender was calling her.

"Mrs. Goose, when is my report day?" the hapless offender asked. "Excuse me? That is not my name." Work Mom told the offender in a hurt tone. "But, your my Agent right? Goose?" the offender continued. "No, I'm not your Agent. That is not my name. I did take your report, but that doesn't make me your Agent." Work Mom stated in an increasing louder voice. "But." "No 'buts'! I am not your Agent!" Before the Offender could say another word she stormed back into the reporting area. She then stormed to my cubicle with what I can only describe as fury in her eyes. I on the other hand was trying not to burst into laughter. The offender whose report I was taking was attempting to get as far into the corner as he possibly could.

"One of your idiots is out in the lobby!" She bellowed. I could not speak, if I did I would only start something that I would regret (brain-mouth filter finally installed). I stood up and walked to the lobby. My Offender still standing in front of the door with a bewildered look on his face. He began to say something, but I motioned for him to be quite and to follow me outside. I quickly straightened him out and he apologized at least 19 times, to me and Work Mom. After giving him my next report day, I sent him about his business.

I let things simmer down on this subject for the rest of the day. However, the next dayI began to rag Work Mom incessantly about this whole ordeal. Which, she blamed on me anyway. This is due to the whole mess being mine to begin with.

The second incident happened today. Recently a cafeteria opened in the building where I work. As a part of the service, they offer really cheap refills on a cup that they do not provide. Bring your own cup or previously used cup and get a drink on the cheap. Needless to say I frequent the cafeteria a lot.

With Agent S expecting her baby to come due any day now, she likes for someone to accompany her to the cafeteria. Since I am usually on the way there myself, I tind to walk with her.

Well, today I decided that I needed an early refill and noticed that Work Mom was already in the office. I asked her if she needed anything from the cafeteria. She stated that she needed a drink and would go with me to get it. So, we walked to the cafeteria and got our drinks. While I am paying for my drink the lady at the register asked me, "So, did your wife make it through the weekend?" This with Work Mom standing right beside me.

The first thought that shot through my head was, What in God's name is she talking about? Then, How drunk did I get over the weekend? Remembering the line from Firefly. Then I realized that I do not drink and discarded that notion. I then asked the woman for clarification.

She said, "Your Wife's pregnant right? Did she make it through the weekend or did she have the baby?" It then dawned on me to whom she was speaking of. Apparently Work Mom got it at the same time I did and started laughing. Work Mom then said, "What am I chopped liver?" emphasizing the point with a slap to the shoulder. The woman at the register then had to pick her jaw off the counter, "Oh my God. I am so sorry. Are you his wife?" Before it could go any further I jumped in, "No, no she's not. I'm not married. They are both just my co-workers."

Now, the woman just turned bright red. "I am SO sorry," the woman started, "I didn't mean anything by it. I just saw you two coming in here together so often and thought..." I stopped her before she could finish, "It's okay. It actually happens to me a lot." I paid for my refill and headed for the hallway. At least this time, I did not feel the need to bathe in acid.

Once we were back in the office, we checked to see if Agent S was at her desk. She was. We then began to recount what happened. She laughed and said, "We'll only be in trouble if he comes out looking like you." More laughter as my supervisor walked in and asked what was so funny. Again the tale was told. She did not seem to appreciate the story as much until I told her that we would have to change the team name to Team Goose, since most of the team now had my name. She chuckled at that.

These are but a few of the reasons that I would hate to leave this job. I guess we will have to see if the world moves on again.

Semper Fi Deus

Goose