Dreams

Dreams mean many things to many different people. To some, they are just nonsensical wanderings of a mind trying to rest and recharge. To others, it can be a window into your subconscious. To still others, it can be a way for the untapped portions of the human mind to awaken with E. S. P. and precognition.

I tend to have leanings toward the first school of thought, that dreams mean nothing in the same way a screen saver on a computer means nothing. That if you had a bad dream it just means you ate some bad chili before you went to bed or something similar.

I have had good dreams and bad. I usually do not remember dreaming at all. The dreams that I remember are usually startling in their clarity or just shocking. I have dreamed of being one of the few survivors of a Zombie Apocalypse struggling against the horde. I have dreamed of being a stock car driver, a dragon slayer, and of being married with a Wife and Children. I have even dreamed of my own death at the hands of Conan the Barbarian. I was fairly certain that it was impossible to die in a dream, but have since found that it is actually common to do so.

I have even had a couple of dreams of spending time with my Father, who as of September 4th died 9 years ago. As nice as these dreams are, I still believe that they are nothing more than an Idea manifested into a visualization so the brain can rest in some weird way. That is until last night.

Last night I dreamed of him again. The dream was rather strange and detailed in its entirety and will skip most of it here.

I was out conducting Home Visits, a routine part of my Job, when a rather non-routine situation arose at a particular house and I had to call 911 for assistance. As Deputies arrived and began handling the situation, two uniforms approached me. One was my Father in his best Class A High Sheriff Uniform. The other was also my Father, but twenty years younger, skinnier, a head full of hair, and wearing a regular Deputy Uniform.

I noticed that the Deputy version was looking me up and down, sizing me up, and what he saw...he only has contempt for. The Sheriff asked me how I am holding up, and I gave him what was my usual answer, "Fine" along with a rundown of what happened in the situation.

As I finished my tale, the Deputy version scoffed and said "I could have handled that without crying for help." But, the voice was not that of my Father, but my own. The Deputy continued with his speech, "I'm not a quitter. I'm a member of the Greatest SWAT team in the Country. I'm an accomplished marksman, you should see all the 1st place trophies in my case. I'm married and have a Child on the way. What do you have? You've accomplished nothing but failure!"

I was brought almost to tears by that comments and was about to throw a retort back when the Sheriff said, "Don't pay him any attention, he's my shadow. He is who you believe you should be. But, he isn't real. He isn't the man I raised. I didn't raise you to be just another me. You have blazed your own path in life and stepped out of my shadow to become the man that you are. And for that I am proud of you." As he took me in his arms, the alarm clock went off.

I have never hated that alarm clock any more than in those moments after waking up and was this || close to shooting it.

Now, I do not know if God allows the Dead to truly come to us in our dreams to speak to us. Or more likely just my subconscious mind, knowing of my inner struggles and demons, providing a visualization of those darkest fears and most cherished hopes. But, I do know that this dream is one that I hope to always remember.

Semper Fi Deus

Goose

CYA: Cover Your Agency

A slogan preached and harped on at the South Carolina Criminal Justice Academy and perfected at my Agency. Over two years after the wreck Agent S and I receive an email from my Assistant Agent In Charge advising that we are going to the Post-Critical Incident Seminar (PCIS) at Headquarters.

After receiving the Email I talked with Agent S about it, trying to figure out why I was going. With her it made since (two years too late, but still) nearly dying tends have an effect on someone. It comes down to C. Y. A., at least according to my Supervisor and Casey from Sandyland.

To me, it makes absolutely no since and that is apparently the exact reason why I am going. With State Government, if it does not make any since that is what will happen.

First off, it has been two long years. The issues that I had and have are safely compartmentalized somewhere deep in my head...and I guess that is the real issue is it not. I know deep down in that locked off and barricaded compartment that I am still standing on that median watching events unfold before me. Fighting the urges that I know will only hinder rescue. Doing what has to be done as I stop the EMTs and remove their gun belts (hindering rescue anyway) and gather their belongings. The issue is I do not want to go through it again. It is locked off and barricaded, leave it be...but that is not to be the way of it.

Now, I have to drag it out piece by piece. This time before fellow Gunslingers, not random Sheeple or those that were there, but Gunslingers. Those who have gone through much worse, and that makes me afraid of looking like a fool.

I voiced this to Agent S (not the whole thing, just the looking like a fool part), who dashed my seemingly logical argument to pieces with a single statement, "You can be there for me." Not only does this make me look stupidly selfish for putting my wants before the needs of another, but also appealed to my ego. What Gunslinger can resist rescuing the girl.

Second, after Agent S set me straight on the reason that I was going, I begged the question, "Was Agent L going as well?" As it turns out, the answer is no. In the AAICs divine wisdom, he has determined that it would be best for a Chaplin from the Department to speak with her and decide whether or not it would be proper for her to attend this or another PCIS...I had to stop myself from responding to this seemingly idiotic reply.

Luckily Agent S did so for me. Her argument, "Proper! She is the most physically and emotionally scared of us all! If anyone needs this it's her!" The AAIC stopped her, "I'm not prepared to have a discussion about this. This is the way things are going to be." The discussion continued and down graded to a point that I needed to tell Agent S that it was time to go.

Looking back on it now, with a clear head, he was right. He just did not explain his position in any shape, form, or fashion. It now makes since to have a professional speak with Agent L and discuss what her needs are. Whether it be a one on one with the Chaplin or going to a PCIS or doing nothing at all at this time. To have them determine what would be best for her...and the Agency. Because in the end, it is all about Covering the Agency.

As a side note, Agent L has made little progress in the past two years. She still has a long road ahead of her and there is much blocking her path.

Semper Fi Deus

Goose

The Gunslinger's guide to Hitchhikers

Today as I was leaving my home on the hill, heading out to do some typical grocery shopping in my personal vehicle. In order to avoid traffic I was traveling down a rural two lane road. This particular road has more homes on it and traffic than some of the rural roads that I have been on, but this day was a sleepy one.

As I was approaching a particularly sharp turn, that I normally take at speed, something told me to slow down. As I was coming out of the turn, I was met by a dirty man with a Grizzly Adams look to him in the middle of my lane. I slammed on the brakes, cut the wheel hard to the left and missed the man by inches. I got off the brakes to regain control just before plunging into the embankment on the left side of the road and managed to get back into my lane. Thank God for Emergency Vehicle Training.

I hit my emergency flashers and stopped my vehicle a little ways down the road, just before entering the next turn. I quickly exited my vehicle and turned the way I had just come. But, the guy was nowhere to be seen. I then heard a tapping on my passenger window. I wheeled around and before I knew what was going on, I was looking down the sights of my Glock 22 at Mr Grizzly Adams.

His hands shot high above his head and he started yelling, "Don't Shoot! Don't Shoot!" I ordered him to the front of my vehicle. As he cautiously moved, my gun followed him. He started to try and explain what he was doing and I told him to shut up. He did so. Once he was in front of my vehicle a though hit me, He may have friends. I glanced around quickly and did not see anyone else around. Nothing but woods and road.

After my look around I told Mr Adams to put both hands on the hood of the vehicle. As he did so he started trying to explain himself again, "Man I was just looking for..." "Shut Up And Put Your Hands On The Hood!" He did as ordered. I slowly made my way behind the man, still keeping my gun trained on him. Once I was behind Mr. Adams by a few feet, I told him to take a step back with both feet, put his chest on the hood, and place his hands behind his back...slowly. Once he did so, almost falling in the process, I took control of his hands and holstered my weapon.

I did a quick pat down of Mr Adams, while he started his explanation again, "Man, I'm sorry! I was just lookin' for a ride. I didn't mean to scare you or nothin' like that. I was just lookin' for a ride." While conducting the pat down I thought I smelled Alcohol, but could not be sure with the overwhelming body odor.

When I finished my pat down and did not find any weapons on Mr Adams, I released his hands and stepped back several feet. I then told Mr Adams to get off of my hood and have a seat on the side of the road. He started apologizing again and again, I told him to shut up. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 911. After a few rings the Operator picked up. I explained who I was (Plain Clothes Officer), where I was, and told them what was going on. Basically, a suspicious person trying to hitchhike while standing in the middle of the road, that I was out with this person, and that a Deputy need to be here yesterday.

Once the guy understood what I was doing he started yelling, "He pulled a F&%$ing gun on me!" and started to get up. "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" I bellowed. Mr Adams did so. I then heard the 911 Operator ask, "Sir, did you pull a gun on him?" "Yes, but he is no longer being held at gun point and before you ask, yes, the weapon is holstered on my person." "Okay, sir, Deputy's are on their way. Do you need me to stay on the line while they are coming?" I paused at the question, thinking You just learned that a gun is involved in this and you don't want to stay on the line? "No, I believe I need to call my Supervisor and let her know what going on. I'll call back if the situation changes." "Okay, sir. Good luck."

I hung up the phone and dialed my Supervisor at home. Mr Adams started shifting and I glared at him, he stopped. My Supervisor picked up the phone, "Yes, Goose?" "Before you hear it on the news..." "Oh Jesus!" I admit probably not the best way to start a serious conversation, "It's not as bad as all that, but getting pretty close."

I explained what happened thus far...short version. "Do you have your badge on you?" She asked. I replied, "Am I awake? As a matter of fact I think I sleep with..." "Goose!" "Yes, I have it, credentials too." "Good, I'll call the AIC (Agent In Charge) and fill him in. Make sure that your badge is the first thing the Deputy sees." I started to hear the faint sound of a single unmistakable Police siren, "I hear them coming, got to go." "Good luck."

As I heard the siren get closer, I pulled out my badge wallet. Mr Adams shied away until he saw what I had. I started to crack a smile until the Deputy rounded the turn and slammed on his brakes. He stopped a few yards from me. I opened and raised my badge wallet. I put my right hand well above my head. The Deputy quickly got out of his car and asked, "Where's the gun?!" "It's holstered on my right hip,"

I then explained to the Deputy who I was. He ordered me to show him the gun and I turned towards him, while slowly lifting my outer shirt and exposing the holstered gun. The Deputy approached cautiously and with his gun half out of the holster. As the Deputy approached, Mr Adams started talking and started to get it up, "This guy if F&%$ing nuts man!". In tandem the Deputy and I both yelled, "SIT DOWN!" After hearing me order the guy, he relaxed a little, but his hand stayed on his gun.

He took my badge wallet and examined the credentials and badge, "I need to see your Driver's license." "It's in my wallet, in my back Right pants pocket." He ordered me to get it. Just in case I pulled out my Concealed Weapons Permit as well. He examined them and then gave the badge wallet back, he clipped my Licenses under his pens on the front of his shirt. He talked into his radio, "Cancel emergency assistance, I just need one extra unit." A chorus of call signs advised that they were canceling their run and going back to their regular patrols, except one unit.

He advised that he was canceling lights and sirens, but was still enroute. The Deputy then turned his attention to me. "What's going on?" "Can I put my hands down?" He nodded and I explained everything that happened. I was finishing up as the other unit arrived. This second Deputy was a K9 unit and when he got out, I immediately recognized him. We have been friends since before either of us joined the Sheriffs Office.

He walked up and greeted me and told the first Deputy, "He's good man. He's one of us," as he pulled my License from the pen clip and gave them back to me. "Who's this guy?" Deputy 2 asked. Mr Adams by this time turned sulky. "We don't know yet, but he almost got creamed by Mr Goose here, before he almost got shot for his trouble." Deputy 1 said. Deputy 2 walked over to Mr Adams asked him to stand up and for some ID.

At first Mr Adams was unsure about standing up, but eventually did it. Once up he stated that he did not have any ID, but gave his name. Deputy 1 ran the name while Deputy 2 questioned him. Mr Adams said that he was trying to get to a city in an adjoining jurisdiction and would not say from where he had come. After talking with Mr Adams for a few minutes, Deputy 2 asked if he had been drinking. Mr. Adams grew sulky again and said, "What's that got to do with anything?" "The fact is you did something pretty stupid and almost got killed twice in less than a minute. I can also smell alcohol on your breath. Now, have you been drinking?" Mr Adams sighed and said, "Not really." With out skipping a beat, Deputy 2 said, "Well then you shouldn't have any problem passing a few tests."

Deputy 2 then did several field sobriety tests on Mr Adams, which he failed. Mr Adams was then handcuffed, searched, and placed in the back on the patrol car. The one without the K9. Deputy 2 then got a form out of the back of his car while Deputy 1 took Mr Adams to the County jail for Disorderly Conduct and to confirm his name. The name that he gave could not be confirmed. I then wrote out a statement of which I was given a copy. We then said our farewells and went our separate ways.

I then started heading back toward the store and called my Supervisor back. I told her what happened and she said that she would call the AIC back and let him know how it turned out. She hung up letting me know that there is a meeting in my future. Great.

Just as a side note. The entire time this was going on, not one car passed by, nor was seen until I got to the main road. That will teach me to try and avoid traffic.

Semper Fi Deus

Goose

Chuckles

It has been long in coming, but I have finally found something worth writing about that does not involve gripping about work.

I am not sure what is going on with the local population of offenders, but they have apparently all gathered together and decided to get arrested for as much as possible as of late. The past week has been spent either sitting in my Supervisors office writing warrants or in the local Jail serving them.

One particular incident involves an Offender that Casey once supervised. Casey even wrote a post about this offender, Chuckles, in Once you're hooked, you're hooked. I was approached several days ago about this case, by the now Supervising Agent and agreed to help take him back to Jail. I was then reminded of this promise when the fateful time came when Chuckles arrived today.

Chuckles went into the handcuffs easily enough and we went through the routine of searching and reading the violations without issue. It was not until we sat him in the car that he decided that he was done being good. Agent S was about to put the seat belt on Chuckles when he said, "You ain't puttin' no Seat belt on me." There was no argument from either Agent S or myself.

Agent S, who has more years in Law Enforcement than I have been on Earth, closed the door and told me to give him my gun. I begrudgingly did so and he told me that I would be riding in the back seat with Chuckles. I slid into the backseat and belted myself in before buckling Chuckles in. Chuckles promptly unbuckled himself and I promptly rebuckled him before the buckle left the catch fully (try saying that five times fast). Chuckles got the idea the seat belt was going to stay on for the duration of the trip.

However, a few minutes later, Chuckles decided to go into a tirade about the evils of the United States Criminal Justice System and the South Carolina System in particular. The tirade included all the usual material, The purpose of our Agency is only to milk money out of the unjustly convicted, how Criminals are allowed to roam the streets while he is arrested on money violations (despite the fact that warrant was two pages long for new convictions), etcetera, etcetera. Agent S and myself, being horribly sarcastic, nodded in all the right places and agreed at the end of every sentence.

Once at the Jail, Chuckles was fine all the way through the first door of the Sally port. However, as the door was beginning to close, Chuckles made a move toward the exit. Agent S grabbed a hold of his arms and turned him back in the direction we were supposed to go.

This set Chuckles off into a new tirade of the usual fighting mantra, "Don't touch me!" "Take these cuffs off and I'll kick your @#%" etcetera, etcetera. Still, Agent S and I did not say a word. Agent S escorted Chuckles to a holding cell that was unoccupied, while I opened the door. Chuckles went in, and the door was closed just as Chuckles turned and slammed himself into the now locked door. Chuckles then began yelling insults and curses culminating in kicking the Steel door 15 to 20 times as hard as he could.

While Agent S completed the booking paperwork, I went to the Booking Officers and advised that we had an offender that would likely fight once uncuffed. To be honest I have never seen these Officers work with such efficiency. Since, Chuckles was kicking the door hard enough to be heard throughout the entire building, they were already set to go.

As we were heading back to the holding cells I saw that chuckles was nose to glass at a local Police Officer who was standing by to help. This Police Officer, who had already placed his prisoner in Jail custody and was on his way out, stopped to give Chuckles a little wisdom, "You need to calm down or they're goin' to &^%# you up." Which of course sent Chuckles into another tirade.

I stopped in front of the cell door with the Police Officer, Agent S, and four large booking officers at my back. With Chuckles still yelling, I said calmly, "This is how this is gonna go." Chuckles ended his rant and listened for a change. "If you're calm and don't try to fight in any way, these gentlemen behind me are going to do the regular booking proceedure without any undue fuss. But, if you start fighting or cursing or are unruly in any way, this is goin' to go sideways for you in a hurry...Cool?"

Without a seconds pause he responded, "I'm not afraid of being $^%#ed up! And I don't appreciate this guy," pointing at the Police Officer, "saying that I should be!" I interrupted with, "Hey, that's not being cool and will send this thing sideways!"

Chuckles stopped and actually thought for a second or two before responding, "Okay, I'll be cool. I'm Cool." I then stepped out of the way as the Booking Officers opened the door. Chuckles stepped out and the Booking Officers escorted him the rest of the way into the Jail and booked in without further incident.

I figured at that point our adventures with Chuckles would be over for a while, but a couple of hours later, the Agent in charge of Chuckles came and got Agent S and I. The local Magistrate had apparently called to inform her of what happened at the bond hearing.

Even though we are on fairly good terms with most of the Local Magistrates, we hardly ever hear from them unless we do something wrong with the paperwork. This Magistrate, I will call Magistrate H, is in my opinion one of the best in this Jurisdiction. He is always calm, cool, collected, and best of all...Fair, with even the most hardened criminal. He does not take sides and always decides on a fair bond based on the violations, likely hood of fleeing from court, and danger to the community.

Anyway Magistrate H, called to advise that Chuckles had earned himself a temporary No Bond due to receiving a 15 day contempt of Court charge. Temporary, due to the fact that unlike most of the Magistrates that I know, who would leave it at No Bond and let a Circuit Court Judge hash out bond reduction in a month or two. Magistrate H, wanted to revisit the Bond issue after Chuckles has had 15 days to cool off.

So, I guess I will be revisiting this issue in 15 days or so. Hopefully this will the maximum limit of excitement for while.

Semper Fi Deus

Goose