The Gunslinger's guide to Hitchhikers

Today as I was leaving my home on the hill, heading out to do some typical grocery shopping in my personal vehicle. In order to avoid traffic I was traveling down a rural two lane road. This particular road has more homes on it and traffic than some of the rural roads that I have been on, but this day was a sleepy one.

As I was approaching a particularly sharp turn, that I normally take at speed, something told me to slow down. As I was coming out of the turn, I was met by a dirty man with a Grizzly Adams look to him in the middle of my lane. I slammed on the brakes, cut the wheel hard to the left and missed the man by inches. I got off the brakes to regain control just before plunging into the embankment on the left side of the road and managed to get back into my lane. Thank God for Emergency Vehicle Training.

I hit my emergency flashers and stopped my vehicle a little ways down the road, just before entering the next turn. I quickly exited my vehicle and turned the way I had just come. But, the guy was nowhere to be seen. I then heard a tapping on my passenger window. I wheeled around and before I knew what was going on, I was looking down the sights of my Glock 22 at Mr Grizzly Adams.

His hands shot high above his head and he started yelling, "Don't Shoot! Don't Shoot!" I ordered him to the front of my vehicle. As he cautiously moved, my gun followed him. He started to try and explain what he was doing and I told him to shut up. He did so. Once he was in front of my vehicle a though hit me, He may have friends. I glanced around quickly and did not see anyone else around. Nothing but woods and road.

After my look around I told Mr Adams to put both hands on the hood of the vehicle. As he did so he started trying to explain himself again, "Man I was just looking for..." "Shut Up And Put Your Hands On The Hood!" He did as ordered. I slowly made my way behind the man, still keeping my gun trained on him. Once I was behind Mr. Adams by a few feet, I told him to take a step back with both feet, put his chest on the hood, and place his hands behind his back...slowly. Once he did so, almost falling in the process, I took control of his hands and holstered my weapon.

I did a quick pat down of Mr Adams, while he started his explanation again, "Man, I'm sorry! I was just lookin' for a ride. I didn't mean to scare you or nothin' like that. I was just lookin' for a ride." While conducting the pat down I thought I smelled Alcohol, but could not be sure with the overwhelming body odor.

When I finished my pat down and did not find any weapons on Mr Adams, I released his hands and stepped back several feet. I then told Mr Adams to get off of my hood and have a seat on the side of the road. He started apologizing again and again, I told him to shut up. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 911. After a few rings the Operator picked up. I explained who I was (Plain Clothes Officer), where I was, and told them what was going on. Basically, a suspicious person trying to hitchhike while standing in the middle of the road, that I was out with this person, and that a Deputy need to be here yesterday.

Once the guy understood what I was doing he started yelling, "He pulled a F&%$ing gun on me!" and started to get up. "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" I bellowed. Mr Adams did so. I then heard the 911 Operator ask, "Sir, did you pull a gun on him?" "Yes, but he is no longer being held at gun point and before you ask, yes, the weapon is holstered on my person." "Okay, sir, Deputy's are on their way. Do you need me to stay on the line while they are coming?" I paused at the question, thinking You just learned that a gun is involved in this and you don't want to stay on the line? "No, I believe I need to call my Supervisor and let her know what going on. I'll call back if the situation changes." "Okay, sir. Good luck."

I hung up the phone and dialed my Supervisor at home. Mr Adams started shifting and I glared at him, he stopped. My Supervisor picked up the phone, "Yes, Goose?" "Before you hear it on the news..." "Oh Jesus!" I admit probably not the best way to start a serious conversation, "It's not as bad as all that, but getting pretty close."

I explained what happened thus far...short version. "Do you have your badge on you?" She asked. I replied, "Am I awake? As a matter of fact I think I sleep with..." "Goose!" "Yes, I have it, credentials too." "Good, I'll call the AIC (Agent In Charge) and fill him in. Make sure that your badge is the first thing the Deputy sees." I started to hear the faint sound of a single unmistakable Police siren, "I hear them coming, got to go." "Good luck."

As I heard the siren get closer, I pulled out my badge wallet. Mr Adams shied away until he saw what I had. I started to crack a smile until the Deputy rounded the turn and slammed on his brakes. He stopped a few yards from me. I opened and raised my badge wallet. I put my right hand well above my head. The Deputy quickly got out of his car and asked, "Where's the gun?!" "It's holstered on my right hip,"

I then explained to the Deputy who I was. He ordered me to show him the gun and I turned towards him, while slowly lifting my outer shirt and exposing the holstered gun. The Deputy approached cautiously and with his gun half out of the holster. As the Deputy approached, Mr Adams started talking and started to get it up, "This guy if F&%$ing nuts man!". In tandem the Deputy and I both yelled, "SIT DOWN!" After hearing me order the guy, he relaxed a little, but his hand stayed on his gun.

He took my badge wallet and examined the credentials and badge, "I need to see your Driver's license." "It's in my wallet, in my back Right pants pocket." He ordered me to get it. Just in case I pulled out my Concealed Weapons Permit as well. He examined them and then gave the badge wallet back, he clipped my Licenses under his pens on the front of his shirt. He talked into his radio, "Cancel emergency assistance, I just need one extra unit." A chorus of call signs advised that they were canceling their run and going back to their regular patrols, except one unit.

He advised that he was canceling lights and sirens, but was still enroute. The Deputy then turned his attention to me. "What's going on?" "Can I put my hands down?" He nodded and I explained everything that happened. I was finishing up as the other unit arrived. This second Deputy was a K9 unit and when he got out, I immediately recognized him. We have been friends since before either of us joined the Sheriffs Office.

He walked up and greeted me and told the first Deputy, "He's good man. He's one of us," as he pulled my License from the pen clip and gave them back to me. "Who's this guy?" Deputy 2 asked. Mr Adams by this time turned sulky. "We don't know yet, but he almost got creamed by Mr Goose here, before he almost got shot for his trouble." Deputy 1 said. Deputy 2 walked over to Mr Adams asked him to stand up and for some ID.

At first Mr Adams was unsure about standing up, but eventually did it. Once up he stated that he did not have any ID, but gave his name. Deputy 1 ran the name while Deputy 2 questioned him. Mr Adams said that he was trying to get to a city in an adjoining jurisdiction and would not say from where he had come. After talking with Mr Adams for a few minutes, Deputy 2 asked if he had been drinking. Mr. Adams grew sulky again and said, "What's that got to do with anything?" "The fact is you did something pretty stupid and almost got killed twice in less than a minute. I can also smell alcohol on your breath. Now, have you been drinking?" Mr Adams sighed and said, "Not really." With out skipping a beat, Deputy 2 said, "Well then you shouldn't have any problem passing a few tests."

Deputy 2 then did several field sobriety tests on Mr Adams, which he failed. Mr Adams was then handcuffed, searched, and placed in the back on the patrol car. The one without the K9. Deputy 2 then got a form out of the back of his car while Deputy 1 took Mr Adams to the County jail for Disorderly Conduct and to confirm his name. The name that he gave could not be confirmed. I then wrote out a statement of which I was given a copy. We then said our farewells and went our separate ways.

I then started heading back toward the store and called my Supervisor back. I told her what happened and she said that she would call the AIC back and let him know how it turned out. She hung up letting me know that there is a meeting in my future. Great.

Just as a side note. The entire time this was going on, not one car passed by, nor was seen until I got to the main road. That will teach me to try and avoid traffic.

Semper Fi Deus

Goose