Dramatized

Alright, alright....I will admit....that I may be....dramatized. There. I said it. It is out for the entire world to see.

Sigh....it was a lot less therapeutic than I thought it would be, oh well.

It has been 31 whole days since the Traffic collision. A lot of progress has been made during that time. Agent M is back at work as of Tuesday, only 2 hours a day and extraordinarily stiff. This being due to the fact that she absorbed a few tons of metal and fiberglass at a high rate of speed. Agent S visited the Office Monday, she is able to talk, but not very loud and for not very long. Agent L is now recovering at home. She still has the Traque, and will for at least a few more weeks. Her jaw will be wire shut for a little longer, and we still do not know if she will need further surgery.

However, mentally all three are still having a rough time. Since Agent M came back on Tuesday I have had several conversations with her about the collision. Mostly about what happened to the cars (where the two cars hit, where they ended up, etc.), how did she get out of the car, and how did we get her (and the other Agents) stuff.

Apparently, Agent M was fading in and out of consciousness the entire time after the collision. She had no idea the EMTs had to practically rip the door off the hinges to get her out and had absolutely no memory of the ambulance ride.

Surprisingly, it was hard to explain to her that while the EMTs were pulling them out of the car, Agent A and I were having to stop the EMTs and get their vests, guns, and gun belts. Hence, where the dramatazation comes in. Since Agent M has returned, I have not really been able to concentrate. The events of that day repeatedly play in my head over and over. Most would simply call this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or at least a mild case. I would not.

Unlike the 5 people involved in the collision who suffered physical, mental, and emotional scars, or actual Trauma. I was a mere on looker. Yes, I did have to interact and do things that I did not want to do. I even had a stupid moment where I was trying to figure out if it was dried blood or lipstick on a gun belt buckle.

Currently, I am asking myself why. Why is this collision different? I have worked many collisions when I was a Deputy. I have seen blood, guts, and gore at multiple crime scenes. I know that there is an emotional connection with the 3 co-workers that were involved. However, my Grandmother has had open heart surgery and a Pulmonary artery catheter operation done in the 31 days since the collision.

Should I not be showing more concern for my Grandmother, whom I should have a much stronger emotional bond with. As opposed to 3 women that I did not know until 2 1/2 years ago. I do not know. For some reason I know my Grandmother will be fine, one way or the other.

Mayhap that is the solution.

I know my Grandmother will be fine if she pulls through or does not pull through. I did not and do not know the spiritual state of my 3 co-workers. For a day, I did not know what would happen with 3 of my friends and was worried that Lucifer would have his way. But he did not, they are ALIVE! Their injuries will heal with time and normalcy will return. As far as their spiritual state is concerned, I can only pray, and do what I know how to do. Be an example.

Mayhap as each returns I will have to relive the events of that day. If that be the case, it will be a small price to pay. And I relish the opportunity to continue to face that Demon.

Semper FI Deus

Goose