Eeeeeeewwwwww!!!!!!

(Insert long drawn out sigh)....I know I will get made fun of later for posting this (Casey). However, it is the only thing that has been on note for the past week.

To set the scene, I must first introduce the characters: 1) Myself (W/M yoa: Not that old), 2) My Mother (W/F yoa: older than me, obviously, but does not look her age nor does she act it), 3) weird cash register lady at Lowe's (W/F yoa: unknown). Setting: Lowe's (Super Hardware store).

Okay, my mother is back in town for the weekend. She and my Step-Father drive a Transfer Truck for a living and they stay out on the road for months at a time. So, when she is in town it is a big deal to get a chance to see her. Even for a short amount of time.

While she was in, she decided that she wanted to go by Lowe's and grab some supplies. While on the way to the check out lines she happens to see a small sticker in the Mail box and house numbers section of the store. This sticker states in large, deep red lettering, "BEWARE OF DOG" with a red stencil of a Doberman Pinscher beside it. She instantly snatched it up and said, "Awwww. This will be perfect for the truck!" I look at the sticker and then at her.

To provide a little background, my mother owns a Miniature Dachshund. This Dachshund goes with my mother and step-father on their paid trips around the country and is completely spoiled rotten. I will admit that he is cute....at times...and in small doses.

Knowing this I try and explain to my mother that if she posts that on the truck and the Dog were to happen to bite someone (not that it would and even IF he did it would not break the first layer of skin) that they could be sued for having foreknowledge of the Dog being "Dangerous". She promptly tells me that it is only a joke and that it will still be cute.

Her mind may change when she is paying rent to live in her own home and she is working for some nimrod who managed to get him/herself bit.

We then move on to the check out and meet the weird cash register lady. WCR lady inquires as to the nature of the Dog upon scanning the sticker and my mother states, "My husband thinks it will be funny. We have a Dachsund." WCR then turns to me and says, "Well aren't you just the little practical joker!" I look at WCR lady inquisitively for a second and then catch her meaning. I subdue the urge to shudder and vomit and proceed to the nearest exit with out looking back. Thinking all the while about Oedipus and curtailing more gag reflexes.

A few minutes of waiting outside and I am joined by my mother. On the way to the car she asks me why I walked away for the register like that. I glance at her and try to see if she was making fun of me and could only see concern. I explain what happened in a conspiratorial voice as we load the car. Before I finish, she begins to bellow with laughter. Which continued most of the way home. Once she was able to, for more than two seconds without laughing, she called her husband and began to tell the story, which brought another fit of laughter (from both sides of the phone).

To make this even worse, is the fact that this is the second time that this "mistake" has occured and I still want to bathe in Acid or something to make the dirty feeling go away. God I hope this does not happen anymore, I do not think my fragile psyche can handle it.

Semper Fi Deus
Goose